


This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Poland

by altertalian_doodle



Category: 2ptalia - Fandom, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 2P Hetalia, 2p soviets, M/M, Mentioned RusAme, Poland is a sjw, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, this is crack dont mind me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 13:56:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14106858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/altertalian_doodle/pseuds/altertalian_doodle
Summary: Russia tends to walk around the house in his boxers. Poland has quite a few things to say about that.





	This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Poland

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a little thing I made, based on a headcannon that's near and dear to my soul

Early morning. To Russia, more of late night. Night so late that the birds started chirping again. He's minding his own business, making himself a nice cup of tea when he hears an all-too-familiar shriek. Right, he didn't put on a shirt. Or pants. It's just him, his boxers, and a multitude of Bratva tattoos _he_ always hated looking at.

"aLEKSANDER ZIMAVICH BRAGINSKY." Wait, when did he get his patroymic? Probably figured it out, somehow.

"Yes?"

"I can't BELIEVE you have the INDECENCY to WALK AROUND LIKE THIS. At least I have the SENSIBILITY TO HIDE THESE MARKS OF GENDER AND BUREAUCRATIC OPPRESSION,  WHICH WOULDN'T BE SO HARD IF YOU HAD ANY SENSE OF DECENCY AND CONSIDERATION FOR YOUR FUCKING COMRADES."

"Then it would be sexist, if I specifically put on pants because my sisters are here." He pours some tea from the samovar.

Poland's eye, it twitches visibly. "IT'S A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT, AND A STANDARD OF BASIC FUCKING MANNERS TO NOT WALK THE HALLS IN YOUR BOXERS, WHEN THERE ARE OTHERS AROUND."

"I thought we agreed, that this is basically a family." Soft footsteps could be heard from upstairs. The rest of the Union is waking up.

Poland, however, launches into a tirade on social justice. Something about the oppression of the people, and of women, and the stigma against fat people? Russia's given up on listening about half a second in.

Lithuania barrels in with a polishing cloth, and a extremely rusted, extremely large, and dangerous sword. "What the FUCK did you- oh god." Guess everyone has a distaste for Russians in boxers. "I wanna bottle of fancy vodka for this!"

"... And that proves my point, that you ignorant Communist scum need to don a pair of pants and save your sense of modesty."

"No." He leaves the cup on the counter, for Belarus, or Estonia, or whoever decides to clean it up take care of it.

"Excuse me?"

Russia heads back upstairs. "The one reason I'm not wearing pants, is because I'm too busy fucking America."

"wHAT THE FUCK?"

"SASHA, GET YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN HERE."

Hopefully, they won't disturb his sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Sasha is a diminutive for Aleksander. At least, I'm pretty sure it is.  
> Comments> kudos but both are great. Thanks for actually reading this.


End file.
